Life After 50: A Gentle Aging Note on Slowing Down and Finding Joy

I was once twenty and now I am fifty-something. Time has passed quickly, but I am learning that slowing down is not the end, it is the beginning of living with joy. Life has taught me to value balance, peace, and the little things that matter most. A well-lived life is one that does not need to be understood, only lived fully.

As I sit and reflect on life at fifty-something, I realize I have not stopped chasing the wind of living. But in these quiet moments of solitude, I am finally feeling the need to slow down and breathe. No really, hear me out. Breathe and enjoy life, right where I am at this moment. No more chasing. No more trying to figure everything out.

The world and its technology are moving at lightning speed and I do not have to keep up with all of it.

As a Black woman who has lived through many phases throughout life, I have earned the right to write myself a note that says: Be still. Relax. Stay calm. Move at your own pace. But being still is something I have been afraid to do.

Just to give a little context, I was born in 1971. And without digging too deep into the past, life was hard. The things my family get to enjoy now were not available when I was growing up. Kids think they are bored today. No, life was boring fifty years ago.

Growing up, it was school, home, playing outside, and making mud pies. There was no endless internet scrolling. No binge-watching shows for hours. I had books and old magazines. I used to cut out pictures and make pretend jewelry. I would paste fake earrings to my ears. My sense of style came from hairstyle books, and soon I was cutting up my t-shirts to create handbags and skirts held together with glue and staples.

As I got older, into my teens, I spent a lot of days sad. I had so many dreams and ideas, but no access, no open doors. I could see the possibilities, but no one understood me. I was a little poor child prodigy. Looking back, I realize the ways I tried to escape my hardships were not always the healthiest. But one turning point came when I earned my GED and started beauty school. That is when hair and style truly came into my life.

Things began to shift. By the late nineties, life was looking up. I started seeing new things, learning new things. I fell in love and married a man who has believed in every cracked-up, crazy dream I have ever had. To say he has given his all would be an understatement. One day, I might sit down and tell that whole love story.

But back to the present.

It seems like every ten years there is something new to figure out, but nothing prepared me for this generation of constant video-making, computer learning, and technology running every corner of our lives. Honestly, it is exhausting. And I used to tell myself if I did not keep up, I would get left behind. But that is not true.

Right now, as I sit here typing this note, I am realizing more than ever it is okay to slow down. I am not saying I am done, but I am choosing to move differently now. To live a little more off the grid. To protect my mental space. To find balance in doing what I love, both online and offline.

Social media has turned content creation into a hamster wheel. And whether you are a creator or a watcher, it is too much for one brain to handle. At the end of the day, I run an online boutique. And I have finally figured out how to center my business and my personal life without burning myself out.

Looking back, I have spent so many years working, learning, and grinding for things that can change in the blink of an eye. Even on vacation, even in my happiest moments, I would still be thinking about the next project. My brain never really shuts off. But at fifty-four, that is not normal. And at this point in my life  I am starting to crave stillness, quietness and gentle living.

Most women in their fifties have lived through so much. Kids are grown. Maybe they are married, divorced, starting over, or settling in. But one thing is for sure, we have lived through every season. And I can only speak for myself, but going back, starting over, that is a no for me.

I love the freedom I have now. I love the woman I have become and still becoming. All my girls are grown, except one. And even still nothing has stopped me from living. If anything, my thoughts are more alive now than ever.

It does not matter what year you were born. If you are alive right now, you have made it. And for me, that means it is time to stop doing for the sake of doing, and start being, on purpose, with joy. No more wasting years. I want the rest of my time here to feel good.

I was a baby then a teen then twenty-something and now I am fifty-something. Where did the time go? If you do not have an answer to that question, then maybe it is time to pause. To find your purpose. To finally live the life you have always wanted.

There is no blueprint. No magic quote to get you going. But for me, the shift happened when I realized I have lived through five decades. That is a long time. But it is also not nearly enough when I think about the time I have wasted.

We are not meant to chase life. We are meant to create the one we want to live. And I thank God I realized that before it was too late. I am still here. So why not slow down? Why not pour into the things that bring me joy?

The internet wants us to believe it is all about everyone else. But if your cup is not full, you will not have anything to pour into others. How can you tell someone to chase their dreams if you will not even make time for your own?

You want to sell crochet dolls, but you keep giving them away. Meanwhile, the people who do not even like your videos are becoming millionaires. If no one has told you today, let me be the one:

Your dreams matter. You matter. Do not sleep on yourself another day, minute, or moment.

Yes, technology is moving faster than the flip of a light switch. And I am glad to be a part of it. But that does not mean I have to move that fast.

It is time to focus on the little things I have always wanted to do. And maybe, just maybe, I am already doing them. I just needed to slow down to see it.

When I was younger, I could not picture getting older. So when I hear twenty or thirty-somethings say they feel old, I cannot help but chuckle. Old? Baby, wait until you hit your fifties.

Still, I would not change a thing about my life. Because it is true what they say. Wisdom really does come with age. And now that I am here, I can finally do what I want, how I want, when I want, in my own rhythm. And that is a good, good feeling.

So here is your aging note for today. A well-lived life is one that does not need to be understood.

Thank you for reading. See you in the next Aging Notes.

💛 Tangie