I Thought Jada Pinkett Smith Was Lying About Crying 45 Days Until It Happened To Me!

I Thought Jada Pinkett Smith Was Lying About Crying for 45 Days Until It Happened to Me

When Aging Gets Emotional And You Don't Know Why!

Hey Friend,

Can we get candid about being fifty-something, or aging in general?

I’ll admit, this was a hard post to write, and even harder to share. Still, I want to talk about something women rarely say out loud, something many of us quietly carry alone. #realtalk

A few weekends ago, I broke down and cried for several days straight. No matter how much my husband and my daughters prayed for me and tried to help, I couldn’t catch my breath or make sense of what was happening. I didn’t know how to explain it. I just knew I wasn’t okay.

There’s something about life that humbles you quickly if you let it. One thing I learned during that time is to be careful how you judge someone else’s experience. When you haven’t lived it, it’s easy to assume you understand it. I know better now.#realtalk

Let me fast forward for a moment.

Years ago, I watched an episode of Red Table Talk with Jada Pinkett Smith, her mom, her daughter, and Will. The show centered around real life conversations. It was a conversation that hit real deep if I must admit it now.

In one episode, Jada and Will shared that when she turned forty-something, she cried every morning for forty-five days. She described it as her midlife crisis and said she couldn’t fully explain it at the time.

I remember doing a client’s hair when I said out loud, “She’s lying, that’s not true. Forty is too young to have a breakdown like that.”

Looking back, that was one of the most dumbest things I could have said.

I based that judgment on my own experience. When I turned forty, I didn’t cry like that. I was nervous and a little scared, but nothing overwhelming. So I assumed if it didn’t happen to me, it couldn’t be real. Oh, honey that was farthest from the truth.

Now here I am, standing in the middle of fifty-something. I’m not there yet, 54 (to be exact)  but the door is cracking open to the middle.

Before I could even think about celebrating, being 54 though, I had to face what happened to me that weekend.

I didn’t eat. I didn’t sleep. I cried for days. I now know without question that I was having my first real midlife breakdown. I wanted to stay in my bed and shut the world out. I didn’t want phone calls and I didn’t want advice. How stupid was that, but it was really happening just as Jada Pinkett described. 

Normally, my husband can make me smile with a plate of shrimp and a bowl of collard greens. But, this time, even that couldn’t reach me.

There wasn’t a clear explanation for the tears, no big moment I could point to. Sometimes life doesn’t give you a reason that makes sense. Sometimes emotions surface without a rule book or explanation. And, that was my situation.

Around the fourth day, I forced myself to get out of bed, the house was quiet and everyone was asleep. I walked around slowly, cried some more, and prayed out loud. I knew I was sad about something, but no one fully understood, and honestly, I was still trying to understand it myself. Yall, this really happened to me. 

My third oldest daughter, Kamoriae, kept coming into my room trying to help. She shared stories about aging, remedies, and little things I could do that would raise my cortisol levels. I think she had been reading articles online. She kept saying, “Mommy, get up and move around people are going through so much in the world. You have everything, Why are you crying?” She was confused and so was I.

Then I saw Red Table Talk again, and it hit me.

Jada wasn’t lying.

Her breakdown happened at forty-something. Mine happened later. For some reason, I thought I had missed that phase because it didn’t show up when I expected it to. What my family and I learned together is that midlife meltdowns don’t follow a timeline. They can happen anytime after forty and beyond. #mindblowing

Even though my family didn’t understand why I was crying, deep down, I did.

It took about a week before I could talk about it, and when I finally did, I shared this.

I feel like I’m more than halfway through life and time is moving so fast. The clock is ticking, and I can’t stop it.

For the first time, I found myself looking too far into the future instead of living in the moment. I had to admit something I didn’t want to say out loud. I’m afraid of having a birthday this year. Not because of how I’ll look, but because another birthday means another chapter turning.

I’m not a crybaby, but this birthday season made me sad and grumpy in ways I didn’t expect.

Surprisingly, those days of crying helped me.Those tears gave me the space to explain what I was feeling to the people who love me most.

I wouldn’t wish a midlife crisis on anyone. But I will never again say another woman is lying about how she feels during hers.

As my doctor later explained, some women cry for days, others for weeks or even months. It depends on the person and the support around them.

I’m grateful I wasn’t alone and I’m grateful I got the help I needed. With my birthday approaching in 2026, I now know I need to pay closer attention to what upsets me so I can address it early and move forward without sinking so deep.

By the time you read this, I’ll probably be moving into the next season of life. But I’ll be back to share what I learn as I continue navigating this middle chapter.

Have you ever cried for long periods at any age? Did you know why you were crying?

No matter the reason, please know this. You are not alone.

Until next time,
See you in a bit.

xo,
Tangie

P.S. My husband and all of my daughters played a big part in my healing. Thank you for loving me, understanding me, and staying with me.