.png "Picture Door open with dim light , books on floor and tea generated by Tangie Bell for Aging Notes Blog")
Yes,that can feel terrifying, but here’s the question that’s been swirling in my mind: what if we just showed up and documented everything anyway? No matter how small, silly, ordinary, or even cringe it might feel.
That’s where I find myself in my 54th life span around the moon and sun. I’m asking what if’s in a way I never did before. What if we could create the life we want simply by being present, by doing instead of overthinking, by letting go of the eyes of other people? What if we started the new job, picked up the new hobby, or spent an afternoon laughing about nothing with a friend? On paper, that sounds simple. But living it? That’s the real adventure.
At this age, I feel like I’ve landed in my own version of Oz, not the bright technicolor movie set, but a quieter land where the pace is slower, the air feels lighter, and life finally has room to stretch out. I call it the land of living slow, of coasting when I need to and soaking in what life throws at me.
When I say coasting, I don’t mean giving up. I mean listening for the wind and moving with it. Right now, the wind for me is guiding me toward living with purpose, but also with intention. I’m asking myself: what am I doing with my idle time? When I’m not hustling through work or juggling family life, what do I do with those quiet hours by myself?
There has been a shift in my 50-something life and I can barely explain it. When I was younger, I didn’t question things much. I was a “just get it done” kind of young woman. But turning fifty-something shifted me into someone who wants to see more, do more, ask more. Now I’m curious. Now I want to know what happens if I stop holding myself back.
And that’s where “what if” comes in. What if I start this project that’s been sitting on my heart,could it actually work? What if I go back to school, just to learn something new and stretch my brain? What if I live another fifty-four years? What would I do with that time? Those aren’t throwaway questions anymore. They feel urgent, because I’ve already lived more years than I have lived ahead of me, and I want the next chapters to count.
The beauty of getting older is that “what if” stops being about fear and starts being about possibility. When I was younger, I asked “what if” with dread: what if I fail, what if they laugh, what if I look foolish? No, seriously the fear of being judged was strong back in my day.
Now, I ask “what if” with hope: what if this brings me joy, what if this changes my life, what if this is exactly what I needed all along?
Aging has a way of flipping the page in a book you may or may not want to read. And the older I get, the less I care about proving myself and the more I care about being myself. The more I care about trying things, even if they don’t go anywhere. Because at this age, even the smallest “what if” can unlock the biggest sense of freedom.
So here I am: fifty-something and standing in the land of “what if.” It’s not about rewriting the past or trying to chase every dream at once. It’s about showing up for myself in real time, taking the small steps, and letting the questions guide me.
Because if I’m honest, the scariest thing is not aging. The scariest thing is never asking the question.
So I’ll keep asking, and I’ll keep showing up. And maybe the next “what if” will be the one that changes everything.
Just A Friendly Reminder: Aging Notes isn’t about perfection, it’s about living, reflecting, and telling the truth about where we are in the land of growing old. . And today, I’m in the land of What If.
Until Next Time Here’s To aging With Purpose And Intentions
-Tangie (Aging Notes)
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