A personal Aging Note on growing older, identity, and choosing to live fully.
Aging with grace is one thing, but aging with a positive outlook on life is a whole
different story. I never really saw this moment coming, or maybe I did and stayed in denial a little longer than I should have been. Either way, here I am, sharing my thoughts on ageless positivity, the un-talked-about struggles, and the un-talked truths that come with getting older.
There are so many factors that affect us as women, especially, black women as we age. And no matter how we feel at any stage of this process, I want to say this clearly: your feelings are valid. Every single one of them.
Lately, I’ve been spending a lot of time getting to know myself again as I grow older. And if I’m being honest, sometimes it’s a little scary. Not because life is bad, but because there are thoughts and emotions that don’t always get talked about amongst women. Yes, I have my husband, my kids, a few close friends, and even my clients at work who listen to me from time to time. But there’s still something about this season that feels deeply personal.
That’s about to change.
As I get closer to 55 in 2026, I find myself wanting to know more about living life big and out loud. I want bigger in spirit with being bolder in truth, and fuller in joy. I do share those things on Tangie Bell. But, aging for me is hitting differently, these days.
A few years ago, I attended a women’s seminar for licensed hairstylists. I almost skipped it because I didn’t feel like sitting through another bob-cutting class. But at the last minute, I decided to go and by the time I walked into the final session, something in me had shifted.
Some of the classes focused on helping women look and feel good through hair. Others talked about dressing for happiness instead of trends. But the last class that one hit home. It was about facing the fears of aging and learning how to embrace where you are right now.
I left that conference feeling lighter and more accepting of aging and how my style was intwined with both. I am more open to the idea that aging isn’t something to fear it’s something to embrace with understanding each year will feel different.
What I learned stayed with me and I want to share it with my readers.
It’s okay to be afraid of aging, but it’s not okay to stop living because of it. Style changes with age, and that doesn’t mean it disappears it means it revamps into something new.
At the end of the day, our hair changes, our bodies change, even how we socialize changes. And that’s not aging out of life, it’s called aging into a new life. I thought I was being weird because I am changing.
These days, I’d rather come home and make jewelry before drifting off to sleep than run the streets like I once did. And that’s fine to do all those things. But I also recognize the need to
carve out time maybe just thirty minutes for coffee and conversation with like-minded people who understand this season I am going through.
I also gained clarity about why I fell into a style rut as I got older. I talk more about that over on Wear What The FUNK You Want, but the truth is, it wasn’t really about clothes. It was about acceptance.
Here’s the part I don’t shy away from: my body changed. I’m about thirty pounds heavier than I was last year, and I had to learn how to dress the body I have now and not the one I used to have. Once I got that out of the way, I could finally address what was really bothering me about being fifty-something.
Life isn’t over because I’m officially part of the over 50 crew. In fact, everything comes down to how I choose to see turning 55 in August of 2026. And honestly, I’m learning to see it as a beginning to my future of getting older.
There isn’t much conversation about aging beyond what we see in the mirror. We don’t talk enough about the mental shifts, the emotional adjustments, or the quiet moments of questioning our existance. I wish I had talked more about these things with my elders when I was younger. Perhaps I wouldn’t have carried so much of it in silence.
Being in a style rut or wondering about aging might seem small to some people, but it wasn’t small to me.
After attending that women’s seminar, I finally understood something important and I want to share it with you guys:
I need to let go and live. And Yes, It’s That Simple
The struggle with aging is real, even though many of us don’t want to talk about it. My truth is this: I’m learning how to embrace who I am and move forward with grace and intention. Today, I’m embracing my age and my newly found sense of style, confidence, and self-awareness.#staywithmenow
So yes, expect to see more Aging Notes around here.
How do you handle being in your forties or fifties? Do you feel like you’ve figured it out or are you still learning too? Drop a comment and let’s talk.
Until next time,
See ya in a bit.
xo,
Tangie Bell
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