Growing older is natural, but nobody prepared me for the feelings that come with it.
Now that I’m in my mid-50s, here’s the one thing nobody says about aging: you will be scared.
Because I am scared. And what makes it even harder is that I can’t find one person who will openly admit they’ve felt this way too, especially in the Black community.
Hear me out.
I’m not afraid of dying or anything dramatic like that. It’s more like… once you hit a certain age, you start hearing this clock ticking in the background. You have these moments where it hits you, and you just get sad for a second because life is changing so fast.
You look up and realize the kids are grown and living their own lives, which is normal. My children need me less now that they have grown into the women they are supposed to become.
The man I married in your late twenties is now “Pop Pop.” and I’m being called “Honey,” because we’re new grandparents.#loveit
But, my life is changing, my body and my mental space in my brain is questioning everything as if I am a teenager.
Life is good, truly and I’m happy. But there’s this silent part of me that still doesn’t quite understand what it means to get old.
And I can’t find anyone who will say they’re scared too.
Most people only say things like, “Girl, I told you you’d get old,” or “Just keep living,” or “This is normal.” And yes they’re right, because aging is a part of life. But that doesn’t mean it isn’t confusing or emotional when it finally shows up in your own life.
I’ve never been in this stage of my life before. So yes, it’s scary. It Is SCARY :(
I don’t have a blueprint., I don’t have a guide, I just have me, trying to figure out what this chapter looks like.
All I really want to know is…
Is there anybody else who has felt this way before?
Anybody who looked at their life, their body, their future, and thought, “This is happening, and I don’t know how to feel about it”?
Because if you’ve ever had even one moment like that, then maybe I’m not alone. Please , please drop a comment, I just need a community. That’s it that’s all
Talk to you soon,
Xo Tangie Bell
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