At this phase in my 50- something life, I’m not chasing applause,I’m choosing peace. I am no longer moving on command, just quietly self evolving into the woman I keep putting on hold. #message
Let me be real with you for a second.
I used to think that “doing the most” meant working harder. Producing more. (Social Media Posting) lol:) Who Else Is Guilty?
Showing up for everyone. Trying to inspire, trying to build, trying to make something out of myself so people could see I was busy, busy, busy. Oh my goodness (insert scream) how exhausting.
I used to think that if I wasn’t hustling, I was falling behind. #girlbye it ain’t over until you die. Honestly, this phrase got me to thinking, and I mean thinking a lot.
Something has shifted in me, not all at once, but slowly, like a soft wind I didn’t notice until it moved me. #realtalk
I started realizing that what I want now… isn’t loud.
It’s not tied up in proving anything to anyone. It’s not about chasing a dream until I burn out. It’s not even about building something that may not go viral in real life or on the internet. It’s about peace. It’s about feeling good in my own skin, it’s about showing up for myself and not shrinking in the process.
I’m 53 now, soon to be 54. And while that still surprises me when I say it out loud, I’ve never felt more ready to live and not just exist, not just serve, not just survive. Like, seriously, Live.
And not live just for my daughters (though I hope they see me fully become), but live wildly for me, myself, and I.
For the version of myself I silenced while I raised kids, helped others win, and gave all my best energy to being "strong."
Now? Strength looks different for me and I am sharing this journey the way I want to see it and be remembered.
On a serious note, it looks like slow mornings and journals that aren’t for public consumption. It looks like creating things because they make me feel happy, not because they fit a niche. It looks like letting my business be built slowly and with soul, even if it’s not always polished. It looks like staying offline when my spirit’s tired. It looks like being OK, with not being everything for everyone.
Because friend… sometimes doing the most means doing what brings you peace.
Sometimes it means saying no to that thing you really don’t want to do. Sometimes it’s going to bed early without guilt. Sometimes it’s not taking that call. Sometimes it’s watching a show in old worn-in socks, with a black coffee in hand, wrapped in silence and not needing to explain that to anybody.
I’ve written sticky notes to myself, blog posts, and journals full of thoughts. I’ve poured out little reminders for women like me, women who have spent years caring, creating, and carrying it all. But the message that keeps showing up loudest.
Live and romanticize your real life. Let joy be enough, not just the end goal, and let peace be your aesthetic. #micdrop
Because Black women living life, not grinding, not chasing, just living, that is the aesthetic.
And I don’t care who sees it. I care that I feel it.
If you’re reading this, and you’ve been downsizing your life , dreams , waiting, or overthinking how to show up, this is your gentle nudge to come home to yourself.
You’re not late. You’re not behind. You’re just blooming differently now. And your bloom? Oh, it’s beautiful.
See you in the next aging notes. Let’s keep living soft. Let’s keep living real.
Xo Tangie
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