3 Things I Wish I Knew Before My Fifties
When I turned 50, I realized life doesn’t come with a handbook on how to age as a black woman. I just had a lot of ‘I wish I knew that sooner’ moments.
So here I am, sharing the first 3 things I wish I knew before my fifties. Call them aging notes, midlife reflections, or just plain lessons learned. Turning 50 isn’t about sitting on a soap box and gossiping with your friends. Or twiddling our fingers because we have nothing else to do with ourselves. It's about aging with confidence, laughing at the surprises that life keeps throwing our way, starting new chapters and embracing the unexpected joy of life after fifty
I honestly believe everybody has at least one thing they wish they'd known earlier in life. To this day, I still can’t figure out why it takes us so long to learn these lessons. Maybe life just likes to keep us guessing? Who knows!
I can’t speak for anyone else, but I’ve decided to stop keeping a long checklist of “should’ve known.” Instead, I’m embracing the lessons I’ve learned and the freedom they bring to my life. So here’s to three mundane yet life changing things I wish I’d known before my fifties.
1. It's Okay to Lollygag or Dilly Dally as the young folks like to say:)
Seriously, nobody cares if I take a day off to climb a wall, binge my favorite show, or go on an adult Disney day trip.
I used to think that taking a day for myself meant I was leaving work undone or letting people down. I was a true people pleaser:)
But let’s be real when I’m gone on to glory (Heaven), who’s going to work my raggedy job? And who’s going to cater to those people who only call when they need something? No pun intened but thta's the real talk no wants to talk about.
Lesson learned: Take that day to lollygag and be stingy with your time. Log off the internet so no one can see your fun day. You can post it later. Turn off that phone so you can truly unwind. Give access to one person only an emergency.
The people who get it will understand, and the ones who don’t? SO FREAKING WHAT.
Jobs are replaceable. And as for the needy folks? They’ll figure it out or find someone else to dump their (ISH) on. That may sound harsh, but it’s the truth and it’s a pill I’m finally swallowing.
Here’s to healing and learning when to put yourself first.
2. Find a Hobby You're Willing to Do for Free… But Eventually Charge For
Now don’t get me wrong: start for free. Explore, learn, and master your craft. But once you’ve leveled up, don’t be afraid to put a price tag on your talent.
Take it from me. I’m a licensed hairstylist who spent years doing hair for free (or close to it) because I didn’t know my worth. Those early days were for learning, sure but once I got my license, I stopped apologizing for charging what I was worth.
Then there’s my hobby of making denim bags. At one point, I started a YouTube channel teaching others how to make them. But here’s the kicker: I soon realized I was giving away gold for free!
One day, I stumbled across someone on Etsy selling earrings I’d taught them how to make and to my surprise she was selling them for $40 a pair!
And she had already sold over 2,000 of them. Meanwhile, I was making pennies on ad revenue.
Lesson learned: There’s nothing wrong with being a teacher, but there’s also nothing wrong with making a profit. These days, I’ve rerouted my hobby into a business and it’s been a game changer.
Can you guess which hobby I’m most passionate about? (Hint: it involves denim and funky designs.) www.funkygrungeboutique.com
The moral of this story is :
So here I am, sharing the first 3 things I wish I knew before my fifties. Call them aging notes, midlife reflections, or just plain lessons learned. Turning 50 isn’t about sitting on a soap box and gossiping with your friends. Or twiddling our fingers because we have nothing else to do with ourselves. It's about aging with confidence, laughing at the surprises that life keeps throwing our way, starting new chapters and embracing the unexpected joy of life after fifty
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